Jesus is with CoCo!

So it's official now. Known Satan-client (that's right, We keep records up top when you people sign deals with the Devil) Jay Leno has succeeded in pushing Conan O'Brien off of the Tonight Show.

I was on the phone with the Old Man last night, and We were both just giggling Our asses off watching Conan rip into NBC. Seriously, he's one funny motherfucker. During one of the commercials, Dad and I got to talking about the sort of people who actually find Jay Leno funny. So Pops dug out the ol' record book, and it turns out that there is actually a correlation between those who laugh at Jay's jokes and those who are pure evil!

Now, that's not to say that everyone who finds Jay funny is automatically damned to burn in a lake of fire for all eternity. Having any sort of sense of humour whatsoever isn't required in order to have a good soul. But there certainly does seem to be a lot of overlap between those without an ounce of comedic taste (aka Leno fans), and those who find themselves headed south when their time is up here on Earth.

So what we've decided to do is our own version of profiling - anyone who watches Jay Leno is in for some serious added scrutiny before We decide where they're going after they die. It's kind of like what they do at the airport when they cavity search guys with Muslim-sounding names, only instead of looking up your ass because your name is Mohammad We'll be looking deep into your soul because you thought Headlines was hilarious.

I suggest all you Chin backers start volunteering at soup kitchens or giving blood three times a week, otherwise you might wind up pretty fucked.